Kelly Clarkson: 'American Idol' Was 'Horrible,' 'I Hated My Life'
Kelly Clarkson may be at the top of her game these days -- with a hot TV show, slimmed-down figure and a promising new man on her arm -- but the singer wasn't always so fond of her fame and fortune. The pop sensation recently opened up to Redbook about her early years in showbiz, filled with loneliness and unhappiness.
While Clarkson does her best to mentor music industry hopefuls on the singing competition show "Duets," the former "American Idol" champ confesses she never got the nurturing and guidance she needed as a teen on the talent show that launched her into super stardom. "I'm going to be completely honest -- I had no one looking out for me," Kelly told the magazine. "They were looking out for the show, and it was horrible," she admitted. "I was 19 years old. I was smart enough to know that it wasn't about me, but that didn't make it any easier," Clarkson revealed of the hit show during its premiere season.
Of course, the "Dark Side" singer, now 30, has developed quite a thicker skin since then -- but not before seriously considering leaving the business all together. "I'm all cried out about it, but my first four years, I hated my life; I almost quit a dozen times."
These days the jaded performer says she's learning what real happiness is -- and admits she's a little fearful of losing it all. "'Where's the kick in the ass?' I told my assistant that today," Kel shares. "I'm just waiting for something to blow up!' She [my assistant] said, 'No, that's what happiness is!'"
So who exactly is making Kel so full of bliss? That would be new